INFIDELITY

Chaitali's lifeless body lied on the hospital stretcher.An autopsy has just been performed on her which confirmed that her death was a result of overdose of sedatives.Chaitali's only daughter Mitali was standing near the corpse.Motionless the young girl stared blankly at the naked body of her mother who looked more beautiful than ever.There wasnt a single drop of tear in Mitlali's eyes.The shock seemed to be too much to even let her cry.Chaitali was the world to her.A friend,teacher,guide and a strict mother....she played all the roles with great competence.Mitali emulated her mother.But today standing near her dead body she had questions in her mind.She wanted to know the reason for which her mother took such a step.Why didnt she think about her only daughter and her husband.She wanted to cry out loudly and ask just once 'Why mumma.Why???' but she couldnt.

Mitali didnt know how long she had ben standing near the lifeless body of her mother,staring at her.Her trance was broken by a tapping on her shoulder.She turned around and found her father Shiv standing behind her.Shiv had just completed the hospital formalities and he was there to take his daughter and dead wife home where preparations of Chaitali's last rites were being made.Mitali wanted to ask the question to her father,she cleared her throat but her voice seemed to choke.She couldnt utter a word instead fainted in Shiv's arms.Doctors were called who after examining Mitali told that the girl was under tremendous shock and needs to relax her mind to avoid a haemorrhage.When Mitali regained her concious they went home.Chiatali's last rites were performed.

Relatives,friends,well wishers poured into their house.Some came with flowers,some with fruits to condole the father and daughter.Everybody asked the same question 'why' , 'how' , 'when' and tried to sympathise with Mitali who kept fainting causing much worry to Shiv.When everyone left Shiv thought of ways to make Mitali cry but he himself was too tired and lonely.At midnight Shiv peeped into Mitali's room and found the girl sitting on her bed staring blankly at Chaitali's photograph with questions in her eyes.Mitali's condition was detoriating and Shiv beacme restless.He couldnot afford to lose his daughter after losing his wife.
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Chaitali was married to Shiv for 24 years.Ever since they got married there hadnot been a single day without Shiv saying 'I Love You' to Chaitali.Even when they fought,it never lasted for more than a few hours.One of them always compromised and resolved the differences. Either Shiv would send Chaitali a large bouquet with a note of sorry or it would be Chaitali who dropped into Shiv's office with a lunch of his favourite dishes.They were madly in love even after 24 yrs of marraige and there romance was as fresh as a newly wed couple.Their ice-candy romance was lways the talk of the mouth of relatives and friends.
Chaitali thought that she was a complete woman.With a loving,caring husband Shiv and a lovely daughter Mitali,she couldnot ask for more.She thanked God for everything she had and thought herself to be the luckiest woman on earth.What made her commit a sucide was a mystry for everbody.
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Having seen Mitali's detoriating condition shiv decided to do something.He rushed to his room,opened his cupboard and took out an envelope.It contained a secret which Shiv always wanted to keep away from Mitali.But now he knew that this was the only way to save the life of his daughter.With the envelope in his hands he entered Mitali's room where she was sitting motionless.He gave the envelope to Mitali and said that to her 'This is the last letter your mother wrote to me.You may never forgive me after reading this but you are a big girl now and you should know a few things clearly.'
Mitali took out the letter and started reading it.Tears started rolling down her cheeks.After finishing the letter she held it close to her chest and cried.She howled and cried for the rest of the night.This was the first time she cried after Chaitali's death.Shiv knew that he had saved Mitali but had lost his daughter forever.The letter said,

Dear Shiv,
I would be gone far away by the time you read this letter.Dont get angry Shiv as I really didnt know what else could I do.You have been a wonderful husband all these years.You gave me a lovely daughter and all the happiness which I could have never got otherwise.I consider myself lucky to have got a husband like you and wish to have you as a husband everytime I am reborn.Shiv,for everything you have given me,I could never thank you as I felt thank would be such a small thing to give you back.If you wanted something,you should have told me frankly.Why did you have to do something behind my back,hiding from me? If you fell in love with Nandini you could have told me Shiv.I wouldnt have been happy but would have surely stepped out of your way for your happiness.That was the only thing I ever wanted...to see you happy.You shouldnot have lied to me all these years Shiv.Were they not true Shiv,all the love ,care,affection that I got from you.Was there anything I missed out on my part that you had to go to another woman.Was my love not enough to hold you back?These thought hurts me Shiv.So much that I cant even tell you.So much that I donot wish to live anymore.Nandini is a nice girl and I know she will keep you immesely happy.Moreover who else can take care of Mitali in a better way than her own 'masi'.Dont ever let Mitali know about all this.She is a very emotional girl and she loves me very much.She would never accept this.I dont have to worry much about my girl beacuse I know her dad would take good care of her.But along with your daughter you should take care of yourself too.You just dont skip your meals and dont work too much.Take proper rest.
See,I have started behaving like a typical wife,I know Nandini would be there to take care of you.Be happy Shiv and keep smiling bacuse I would be watching you from up there.
One last thing that I want to say is that 'I LOVE YOU SHIV,I REALLY LOVE YOU A LOT'
Goodbye
Forever yours
Chaitali

Kabhi khushi,Kabhi gum

You dont need a reason
To laugh out your heart,
You dont need a reason
To make a good start.

You dont need a reason
To sing songs aloud,
You dont need a reason
To be on ninth cloud.

You dont need a reason
To celebrate joy,
So what if you're a man
You can feel like a boy.

You dont need a reason
To make people smile,
To bring joy to others
Atleast,once in a while.

In the game of life
Hide and seek they play,
If nights are of sorrows
Joys do make the day.

You dont need to worry
'Cos as the wheel spins,
Kabhi khusi,Kabhi gum
It alternately brings.

So dont sulk and worry
If gum you have today,
Believe me and have faith
That khushi is on the way.

THE BOY

The boy was standing on the other side of the road.A dirty vest and a pair of half pants covered his lanky structure.Barefooted he tried to catch the attention of every passerby.When I crossed the road,he came walking towards me.Nearer as he came he held out a newspaper from the whole lot that he was holding.

'O Madam, ek lelo na' he said,his voice was shrill I heard as he kept coming nearer to me.

'Ek paper lelo madam,Padh lena fursat se.Padhne se badha aadmi ban jate hain,aap aur bhi badha ban jaogi madam,padh lo ye paper.'

'Tumhe kisne kaha ki padhne se badha aadmi ban jate hain?' I couldnot stop myself from asking.Immediately he replied,

'Baba kehta tha.Hum to padhai nai kia isliye hum kabhi badha aadmi nahi ban sakta hai madam,isliye hum kehta hai yeh paper lelo'.

I was amazed by the boy's salesmanship.Barely in his teens he pleaded to me in his unique ways to buy the newspaper.I was least interested in the in the paper,I had already read it in the morning.What caught my surprise was the boy,his lanky structure,his dirty clothes,his shrill voice and his things he was saying.

'Tumhara naam kya hai?'
'Sonu'
'Achha Sonu,ek baat batao,tumhara baba yeh janta tha ki padhna,likhna kitna zaruri hai,phir unhone tumhe kyun nahi padhaya'.
'Baba to chahta tha ki hum khub padhe,badha admi bane.Usne to apne school mein bhi dala tha.Hum to kuch din schhol gaya tha madam.Par jab Baba mar gaya to humko khana hi naseeb nahi hota tha to school ka fees hum kaise deta?'
'Tumhare Baba ki maut kaise hui aur tumhari maa ne tumhe padhane ki koshish nahi ki?'
'Baba to driver tha ek school ka,accident mein mar gaya,Apni maa to apne ko paida karte waqt hi mar gayi thi.'
'To phir tum kiske saath rehte ho Sonu?'
'Akela rehta hai,kisika saath ka kya zarurat.Tum paper lega ki nahi bolo madam,khalipili baat kar k mera taim barbad mut karo',Humko yeh saara paper bechna hai abhi'.

The boy was getting impatient by now.He must have sensed that I was not interested in the newspaper he was trying to sell.I wanted to talk to him but he was short of time.He had work to do.At this tender age when the time for him was to play,go to school and live a life of comfort under the love and care of elders this boy was busy making a few bucks.......a living for himself. My heart ached for thousands of such faceless,nameless,poor childern who spent each day of their life struggling to earn a living.Burdened with their own lives they expect nothing more than three meals a day,few clothes to cover up and a little shelter.Are their demands too much to be granted.We as responsible citizens of our country are so selfishly engrossed in our lives that we hardly pay any heed to the woes of children poor children around us.I stood their thinking about my unnecessary luxuries that I indulge in,when these little ones fight for the basic amnetities.I was feeling ashamed of myself when suddenly the shrill voice called again

'Arre o madam,kya sochne lagi,ek 4 rupiya ka paper lene k pehle itna sochogi kya?'
'Acha dedo ek,English wala dena'.
The boy handed the newspaper to me and muttered
'Yeh badhe logon ki baat hi alag hoti hai,ek paper lene k pehle bhi itna sochte hain....4 rupiya dena'

I took the newspaper from him,searched my hand bag and took out a 500 rupee note and handed it over to him.He looked at me amusingly and said

'4 rupaiya madam,400 nahi.4 rupaiya do.'
I handed out the note to him and said 'pata hai 4 rupiya, yeh lo'.
'chhutta nahi hai mere paas' came the crisp reply.

'Chhutte ka zarurat nahi,tum rakh lo isko,isse tum kitab kharidna English aur Hindi ki.Tum padhna chahte hona?Kitaab kharidna aur padhna.Yeh saamne wala ghar mera hai,agar samajhne mein dikkat hui to kitaab lekar mere paas aa jana,main tumko padha dungi.'
The boy stared at me for some time in a perplexed manner and then of a sudden he started shouting at me violently.

'Tum paise wale log apne ko kya amajhta hai?Sirf tumlog hi izzatdaar hai kya is duniya mein?Hum gariblog ka kya koi izzat nahi ?Hum gareeb zarur hai madam par hum mehnat karta hai.Rakho tum apna khairaat apne paas,nahi chahiye humko.Hum bhooke marega magar kabhi kisi se bheek nahi lega.Hamara baba humko sikha k gaya ki kabhi kisi k aage hath nahi failana.Hum mazdoor hai,gareeb hai par bhikari nahi hai.Lao hamara paper wapas.Nahi bechna hai tumko paper.Ek to bakbak kar k mera itna taim barbad kiya,uper se humko bheek dene aya hai.Humko padhna hoga to hum mehnat,mazdoori kar k padh hi lega,warna duniya mein bohut log anpadh hi reh jate hain,kisiko kya jata hai.hum bhi anoadh raha to tumhare baap ka kya jaega.Badha aya dildaari karne,bheek dene chala hai humko.'

He snatched the paper from my hand and went away grumbling in his own.I stood their with the note in my hand.People in the road gathered around me but I stood there.His verbal outburst was so acerbic and violent that I couldnot even move for few mintues.This was a complete shock for me as I never exected the person to react in this way whom I tried to help.When I regained my composure I walked back to my home.

The misfortune bestowed upon the young boy was the cause of his outburst.His pains which he has been supressing all these years was suddenly visible in his eyes and his words.His mouth was pouring out venom that has been injected into him by this harsh world over all this years.I had hurt him on his wound.Unintentionally,I made a mockery of his poverty and helplessness,bruising his self-respect which was his only possession in this wide world.I wish I get chance to meet him again,a chance to clarify that he got me wrong,a chance to apologise.

THE WAIT-II

As Abbas passed his higher secondary exams his parents wanted him to go abroad for higher studies.Abbas protested,he didnot want to go leave the city fearing that he would miss meeting his baba.But his protests were ignored and he was sent to study.On the day he left he went to meet his baba.They hugged each other and cried.Abbas promised to write letters to Abdul every month and promised to take him back once he finished his studies.Abbas left and with him the world seem to come to a stop for Abdul.He kept waiting for him every saturday as he used to but Abbas never came.Abdul recieved letters from Abbas every month which he was unable to read.He asked the care taker of Sahara to read it for him.Once the letters were read,Abdul stored it safely.He took the letters out every night and smelled them wishing for Abbas.Tears rolled down his cheeks as he slept.He woke up dreaming of Abbas and cried for the rest of the night.
In all these years,Mushtaque never came to see Abdul.His health started to detoriate and he emaciated.He could barely walk but that never stopped him to lie down on the hammock staring at the gateway on saturdays.5 years has passed since Abbas left but Abdul waited for himfor he believed that one day hewould surely come.
It was monsoon time and Abdul felt as if this was the last monsoon of his life.He not keeping well since months but with the onset of monsoon his problems aggravated.The lack of proper care at Sahara added fuel to the fire and left Abdul bedridden.He was too weak to get out of his bed so his saturdays were spent waiting,lying on the bed staring at the door.


It rained heavily that day.Abdul lied on the couch in his room and watched out of the window.The water droplets dancing on the leaves of the trees.He seemed to be in a never ending reverie.He himself couldnot figure it whether he was asleep or awake.He could hear the ticking of clock in the room still time seemed to have stopped for him.He prayed to God for mercy,for his death,for relieving him of this pain.He wept silently and prayed.Abdul didnt know what time of the day it was when he heard a soft whisper in his ears........'BABA'. He made no effort to turn around as he thought it as just a dream.'Baba' the voice called again.Abdul didnot move.He kept lying with eyes closed when he felt a hand touching his shoulder.The touch was familiar.The touch infused such energy within Abdul that he immediately turned around.With his blurred vision he saw a young handsome man smiling.The man said again.'Baba,its me Abbas.' Abdul couldnot believe his eyes and ears.He thought its another prank that the old age is playing.He thought he was hallucinating.The man said again 'Baba,your Abbas is back.You dont worry at all.I am here to take you with me.' It was not a dream,neither a reverie nor hallucination.Abbas has kept his promise to come back.When Abdul realised this he threw his rickety arms around Abbas.He wanted to say something but his voice chocked.Struggling to stop his teras Abdul stared at Abbas who has grown up into a young man in these years.He kissed Abbas on his forehead and broke down into a loud cry.Both of them hugged each other and cried.The tears washed away all the pains of this long wait which finally got over.

THE WAIT-I

It was a humid saturday afternoon.Abdul was lying restlessly in the hammock which was netted at the portico of the building.His trembling hand wiped drops of sweat from his face.He could feel the heat,his skin burning but Abdul lied over there.It has been years since Abdul first entered this place.For him life has changed ever since except for the saturdays.Over the years this is one day Abdul waits for.Restless and impatient like a child he refuses to leave the portico staring at the gateway.The scorching sun,the violent rains and the biting cold has failed Abdul retreat into his room.This is the day he waits for all the week,the day when he would meet his grandson Abbas.
Abdul,a widower was old.His face was worn out with wrinkles.His hands trembled.His back was hunched and he walked with a with the support of a stick.His brown eyes were pale,his vision was blurred.His memory had started to fade but Abdul still remembers the day when he first stepped into this place.The day when his wait had begun.The wait to go back,the wait to live in his own house which he had bought,the wait to live a happy life with a loving family.21 years has passed since the day but Abdul is still waiting.His friends in the building tell him to stop waiting and hoping for something which is never going to happen.But Abdul never listens to them.His life in this buliding is woven around hope and he says that his wait will end with his life.

The building is an old age home named as 'SAHARA' where many old and helpless people like Abdul live.Each of them had their own reasons for turning up to this place.Some were dumped by their families and some had no families to live with.Though they themselves had formed a family and managed to live their life between sheer penury,they had one thing in common.All of them were unwanted.Years back when Abdul was left here by his son he had problem adapting himself to the austere lifestyle.He consoled himself

thinking that it was a matter of just six months and his son would take him back once he returns from his business trip.The official trip required Mushtaque (Abdul's son) to go to the US for six months.Fatima(Abdul's daughter in law) and Abbas was also to accompany him.Abdul was quite old to take care of himself if he stayed back.So it was decided that he would shift to the old age home for this six months and Mushtaque would collect him once he returned.Months passed,years passed,Mushtaque returned from his trip but he never mentioned anything about taking Abdul back.Every saturday Mushtaque would come to Sahara with Abbas and Fatima to meet Abdul. Any mentioning of Abdul's return was always ignored by Mushtaque.Initially he cooked up lame excuses but as days passed Mushtaque made it very clear to Abdul that he has to stay at Sahara.With passing days their visits to Sahara to meet Abdul declined.It was in 2-3 months that Mushtaque paid the visits.He blamed it on the work pressure.Abdul could do nothing but wait each saturday for their arrival which was met with sheer disappointment most of the times.
His heart ached for Abbas,his grandson.He missed him every moment.He missed the joy of seeing Abbas grow up in front of his eyes.His cried silently every night as his heart longed for Abbas.It was only on some fateful saturdays that Abdul could meet him.

As Abbas grew up his bonding with his grandpa grew stronger.He would wait impatiently for the saturdays when he could meet Abdul whom he called as baba.On saturdays,he didnot wait for Mushtaque or Fatima to accompany him to Sahara.After school he drove his cycle to Sahara and spent entire evening with his baba.Once he took his walkman for Abdul so that his baba could listen to music.He read him stories,told him about the world.They discussed about stars,moons and galaxies.Abdul told Abbas about his childhood days,how he grew up,how he went to college,got married.He told him about his wife Sahiba and how she died delivering Mushtaque.He told him about his hardships in bringing up Mushtaque alone,without a mother and the love that he showered on Mushtaque for which he never missed his mother.

Abdul told the same stories to Abbas over and over again and everytime he heard these stories he could see the pain in Abdul's pale brown eyes,his longing to be with his son,his family.Many a times Abbas requested his parents to bring Abdul back to their house but all his pleas were rejected.With each passing day Abbas got more and more closer to his baba.He found a friend,a companion in him who loved him selflessly.His cravings to be with his parents who were too busy in their professional lives was fulfilled on the saturdays when he sat with his baba and chatted.

to be contd......